i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
