Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Send help, water and tortillas.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize