U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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