We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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