just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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