I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
