How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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