So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
