I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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