You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
