worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
