Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
