How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize