Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
