Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
