so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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