Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
