he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
