Im at strip club and am horny
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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