why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
