okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
