What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There's always time for handjobs
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
