Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
