hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
