tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
why do cheetos always look like penises
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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