I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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