How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
