marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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