I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Congratulations! We have a period
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