lets start a swedish sibling band together
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
