People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
How does one acquire holy water?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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