And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
