If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
