You just made me feel so damn special
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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