i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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