I would go down on you faster than GM stock
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
