so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's rum buckets o'clock
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
