I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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