he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
