If i come over, it means nothing
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
