That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
