Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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