And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
