We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
