my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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