Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
