I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
