it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
