You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
