I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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