I don't usually arrange sex via text message
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
