dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
