brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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