He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
