why didn't you poke me back
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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