There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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