S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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