East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
