That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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