i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
farters have to be the big spoon...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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