Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
