Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
