Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Shame - the story of my life.
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