and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
