we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
