How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
