I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
